January 04, 2002 :: 6:15 p.m.
sickness and boredom
I'm bored. I also feel rather like shit, so I've just been hanging around the house all day. I really need to get out more. I was thinking about going to visit Amanda at work and getting a stir-fry for dinner, but alas, I look dreadful and I have no money. I'm still in my pajamas. I haven't even showered. I don't particularly see the point, since I'm not leaving the house. Besides, my monkey slippers are warm and they make me happy.
I feel so uncreative. I used to do so much more. I used to write! I know, how bizarre. I really did, though. Poems, stories, whatever. Stream-of-consciousness ramblings that helped relieve tension. I don't know why I stopped; I guess I just don't have anything to write about. That's such a cop-out excuse, though. I should be beaten for using it. I think I've just gotten lazier, that's all. I'm not as willing to expel the energy anymore.
And, you know, I can't think of anything to write about.
In my web-travels today, I came across this meaning of my name:
The name of Amanda has given you an appreciation for many beautiful and refined aspects of life--music and art, literature, drama--and the outdoors, where you find much peace and relaxation, but it creates a far too sensitive nature. You sense and feel much that you do not understand, and sometimes you are alarmed at your thoughts and wonder about their origin. You rarely experience the tranquility that comes with stability of thinking or emotional control. At times, you are very inspired, desiring to be with people and to entertain others as the "life of the party," while at other times you are aloof and choose to remove yourself entirely from association. You crave understanding and affection but your intensity of desire and your self-consciousness prevent you from finding the happiness you desire. You have suffered many disappointments and misunderstandings because of your inability to express your inner thoughts. You could experience sensitivity in the heart, lungs, or bronchial organs, causing tuberculosis, asthma, or depletion of your energies.
It's actually pretty accurate. Too bad I share the description with the other 16 million poor souls named Amanda. Blah. If you want to find out what your name means according to these people, go here. It'll be fun, I promise.
I want to be reviewed. I don't know why. Is it because I'm vain and enjoy hearing about myself and what I do? Possibly. Everyone is curious about what others think about them. It's a human thing, I suppose. So maybe I'll do that then, after I spiff up the page a bit or something.
I want to make rice, but at the same time I don't. The prospect of eating anything is actually quite nauseating right now. Maybe I'm getting whatever sickness Adam has. God knows I should be, what with all the spit swapping and such. *laughs* That sounded kind of gross, but hey. Sick could be good. Sick could make food very unappealing, thus forcing me to reduce my fatness. Hopefully sick will stick around for a while; I've got a lot of fatness to reduce.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005