January 25, 2002 :: 2:57 p.m.
bad dreams and the question of happiness
So about my dream. Basically, it was Adam and I fighting. Like yelling and screaming fighting, not the silence and hidden anger fighting that we do when we're mad. I can't remember what we were fighting about, but I suppose that doesn't really matter. I've been having a lot of dreams like this lately, and I do not enjoy it at all. I had one where he broke up with me because he "can't talk to me," and another where I heard him tell his sister that he's not happy with me, and that he feels tied down and stifled, and all sorts of things like that. These dreams are making me very unhappy and they need to stop bothering me while I'm trying to sleep. I do hope they're not portents of anything to come, though. Before Adam and I started dating, I had a dream where he asked me out, and obviously that came to pass. So... uh, I'm really hoping these are just little jokes that my mind is playing on me. You know, a "let's scare the annoying girl senseless while she's trying to get some sleep" kind of thing.
Bah. I need to be happy. Why am I not happy? I have no reason to be unhappy. Nothing terribly wrong has happened lately. I'm just melancholy, and I can't figure out why. It's not any of the usual things that get me down - nothing's up between Adam and I, I'm not fighting with my parents, I'm not car-less. There's no reason, I tell you. No reason! So what the hell is wrong with me?
Argh. Maybe I'm just nuts. I really wouldn't doubt it.
On a lighter note, I got to see The Wild Thornberrys (Thornberries?) this afternoon. I love that show. I wish I lived in an RV and traveled all over the world and could talk to animals.
back & forth
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