January 29, 2002 :: 11:17 p.m.
I bleed icing
I got another google hit tonight: "stripper suffocates man 72 DD." Apparently whoever was searching for "stripper suffocates groom" and "'72 dd' stripper" decided to combine the two and see what happened. Well, I happened. I was the only result. I feel a bit bad for these people. My diary contains no graphic depictions of strippers with enormously large breasts suffocating soon-to-be married men. Sorry.
I've been rather idle all day. I made orange cream cheese icing for a cake that my dad made; it's yummy. I kept eating the excess icing, though, and now I don't feel so well. I knew it would make me sick, but I couldn't help it. My veins are full of creamy, delicious icing of all flavors. I must eat it if I wish to stay alive. Yes, the secret's out: I'm not human. I'm a human/baked good hybrid. My creators had no idea what kind of evil they were unleashing on the world when they made me. Mwahahahaha!
Ahem. Yes. I took a bubble bath, because baths are supposed to be soothing and relaxing and such. I ended up getting out after about five minutes, though. I really should know better by now. Every time I take a bath, the heat makes me feel weak and nauseous. Aren't baths supposed to make me feel all warm and sleepy and good? Eh. So now I'm just sitting here in my big stupid bathrobe, watching some show on MTV and getting ready to start writing again. I've spent most of the day writing, and it's been really nice. I didn't realize quite how much I missed it until I started doing it again.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005