April 07, 2003 :: 7:09 p.m.
the search for the Maltese Honey Bear (with spout)
I bought an overpriced eye shadow pencil at CVS this afternoon, because I am physiologically incapable of resisting makeup. I don't know quite why, as I don't really wear makeup at all, but such is life and the unnecessary spending of money. It's not in front of me at the moment, but I think it's a Maybelline product - Sarah Michelle Gellar's smiling face was plastered all over the place. It's some kind of fancy "cooling effect" thing, in a nice shade of black. I've been going through a black eye shadow phase lately, even though I don't really look right in it. I think I put it on wrong or something.
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is that I put this cooling eye shadow junk on a little bit ago, and ever since I've been seized by the urge to scratch at my eyelids. They're all tingly and sort of burning, and I can't quite discern whether it's a pleasant feeling or not. But pleasant or no, I don't think it was worth $6.25. I'm cheap that way.
If you've read any of my entries, ever, you know that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. At present I'm trying to decide what to do about school next year, and it is not going well. I'm definitely leaving LVC, no question. But I don't know what I want to do afterward, and as time passes it's becoming more imperative that I just make a freaking decision. Here's the thing, though... I don't know if I can. I thought I wanted to apply to PSA&D, but now I'm not sure. And even if I do, there is no way in hell I can get 15 presentable works of non-digital art completed in the next month or so. It's just not going to happen. And more and more I'm having doubts as to whether I should even try. I don't know if art is what I want to do with my life. I don't even know if I could make a living doing it, because while my few and loyal friends assure me that I'm more than talented enough, they're my friends. And oh, look, their bias is showing. I don't suck, but I'm not that good, you know? I'm not great, and great is what I'd need to be.
If I could do anything at all with my life, I'd want to work with animals somehow. I've always loved animals more than I will ever love people (Adam excluded, of course), so if I could make a difference in any way I'd like it to be something that would help animals. I don't know where to go with that, though. I'm too dumb and science-challenged to be a vet, and I don't know what else you'd go to school for, or even if you'd have to go to school at all. So... there is much confusion. It's bad.
Also, what the fuck is with jobs requiring that you have any old bachelor's degree? What good does it do if it's not specifically targeted toward the area of employment? I don't get it. Perhaps the employer just wants to be sure that the prospective employee has gotten any frantic need to drink and party out of their system, thus making it less likely that they'll show up late and hung-over.
Whatever.
Adam and I went to the grocery store this afternoon after his appointment with his podiatrist, and I was specifically looking for a honey bear. A little plastic bear filled with honey, sporting a cap with a tall spout. Is that so hard? I never would have thought. The only honey bears they had with spouts held cinnamon and raspberry honey, and the regular clover honey only came in little beehive-shaped bottles or a honey bear with a pathetic flat cap.
I didn't get a honey bear. I'm very particular about things, in case you haven't noticed.
I did get hot chocolate mix and 3D Doritos, though, so I guess it wasn't completely a waste of time. Damn the Doritos! They're crack-coated, I swear to god. And they really need to downsize the bags, because people like me will, due to having no willpower whatsoever, eat the entire humongous bag over the course of a few days.
Gluttony, thou art a cruel and relentless master.
I have no classes at all tomorrow. There will be much knitting and (to my great dismay) paper writing. My parents might come up for dinner at Mama's, also, which would be a fun time. I'm driven to share the magnificent goodness of Mama's Pizza. It's a sickness.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005