June 09, 2002 :: 11:39 p.m.
give me a light of some kind
Tonight's search engine hits: "eat it up girl," "incessant sadness," "fucking hell," and "anal girl." I can see why three of those four landed on my page. The anal thing I'm not too sure about, though.
Hung out with Adam tonight. We went for a walk by the river, which was fun except for the fact that we saw a really mean man (who will surely burn in hell if I have anything to do with it) hitting his dog with a leash-like thing. I wanted to say something, but instead I just started to cry... because I'm a dork like that. But do you see? Do you SEE why I hate people? Because they're stupid and thoughtless and cruel and assume that just because they can belch the alphabet, they're higher than every other creature on this planet and have the right to go around hurting anyone and anything that they want. Funny, I speak as if I'm not human. Unfortunately that's not the case, but for christ's fucking sake... there are two kinds of people, those who are mean to animals and those who aren't. I am not, and as such, am able to sit here and discuss the failings of humanity as if I were an outsider. Because I am. Because I don't go around beating my dog just because he doesn't come when I call him. Because I feel more compassion for that dog than I will ever feel for any human being, because at least we can do something to help ourselves. We can scream or run away or fight back. We can help ourselves - a privilege that most of us don't utilize or even deserve.
*sigh* I can't deal with this place.
On the lighter side, a nice oldish man stopped us on our way home and told us that we're beautiful. He asked how old we are, and if Adam writes me poetry (heh, no). It was cute.
I'm tired. I'd write more, but the rest of the evening was rather uneventful. We had a minor spat over something completely stupid - an assumption, a miscommunication, a crossed wire, whatever you want to call it. No fun. I'm picking up my brother at the prison tomorrow, because he's getting out. His birthday is Wednesday, and I'm kind of broke. I'm not sure what to do. Maybe I'll make him cookies or something. Or bum some money off my parents to get him a Borders gift card. I don't know. Anyway, goodnight. I'll write in the morning at some point, if I can.
editd 12:29 a.m. Mu moisturizer is missing from the bathroom and I have a sickening feeling that I know exactly where it went. *gags* GOD. Someone kill me now, please.
back & forth
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