June 25, 2002 :: 11:39 p.m.
I'm not in the mood for creative titles
Good things: I saw
Lilo & Stich again with Amanda, I got a Stich plush doll (!), and Amanda gave me an early birthday present - the baby horseshoes that I've been coveting since the Mesozoic Era. They're really fun. It didn't hurt very much to put them in, either, which was a plus. Woo for fun earrings.
Bad things: Lots of talking went on tonight, but none of it made me feel much better. In fact, it just reinforced the fact that I'm a complete and total idiot. I'm not in the best of spirits right now, consequently. I'm feeling rather depressed and uncertain... pretty much the usual, unfortunately. And now I'm reluctant to discuss relationship matters here, because I'm not crazy about seeming even more like an irrational psychopath than I already do to the handful of people (read: my friends) who read this.
Grr. I swear to god, if AOL disconnects on me one more time, I'm going to rage. It's not going to be pretty. I'm in a state where, if provoked, I could be up for some destruction.
Why do things always seems so much easier in theory than they do when presented with the test of reality? On the way home from Amanda's tonight, I was all gung-ho about opening up the lines of communication between Adam and I. But then when I called him, I just couldn't do it. Why is it so fucking hard?!? It's not like it's a life or death situation or anything. There's not even any particular pressing issue that needs to be discussed. Well, I guess there sort of is, but that's my issue, not his. Fuck it, they're all my issues...
*sigh* Please note that I just contradicted myself. I said that I wasn't going to talk about relationship stuff here, and then I went ahead and did it anyway. Argh. No more. Must protect last shred of dignity.
I'm going to go sulk or something. It's what I do best, after all. And it's oh so much fun! Yeah... I'm not particularly looking forward to tomorrow, as I'll just be left to sit here and drive myself crazy by thinking about something that I'm not even going to get into. Not only does it qualify as "relationship stuff," but I imagine that it would open a larger can of worms than I want to deal with. And it would make me look like an idiot. We musn't forget the part about me looking like an idiot, oh no, that's the most important thing.
Goodnight.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005