October 22, 2002 :: 11:22 p.m.
Things That Suck vs. Things That Rock
I am so obsessed with this song. It's making me ever so anxious for October 29th... hopefully I'll be able to afford it by then. Fat chance, though, really. Adam and I took a walk a little while ago, and stopped at the college center to check out the job board. Either I am extremely picky or the jobs available here just suck, because I found nothing. I actually went through each one, picking out the reasons that it wasn't good. Like UPS - already tried that, and it's in Harrisburg. If I wanted to work in Harrisburg while I'm at school, I'd be doing time (heh) at the bagel shop. Various positions at the Hershey Inn - I don't want to clean up after people (housekeeper), too people-intensive (guest service), I don't fold well (laundry service). And so on and so forth, down the line, until every single one was eliminated. Ugh. Come on... I just want a simple part-time job. It's not like I'm asking for stacks of money served up on a silver platter in return for playing with kittens and making fun of people all day.
I'm going up to visit Adam. I will return shortly to finish this up. *goes away*
*comes back* Okay. Here's a list of things, because I'm not feeling paragraphy right now:
Things That Suck
- Being poor
- Being unemployable
- Being fat
- Being unattractive
- Being perpetually sad
- Being paranoid
- Being surrounded by people
- Having a roommate
- Having a roommate who likes Jerry Springer
- Having absolutely no privacy
- Taking showers in the dark
- Having bad dreams that do nothing to ease my insecurities
- Being awake at 11:49 p.m. when I have to get up at 6:30 in the morning
Things That Rock
- Adam
- Taking late-night walks
- New Buffy on Tuesday nights
- Reruns of Buffy every weeknight
- Any and all occasions when my roommate is not here
The Rock list is very sad in comparison. Today hasn't been that great. Oh, and what the fuck is up with next Tuesday's episode of Buffy being a re-airing of Lessons (the first episode of the seventh season)? I am so incredibly not pleased with that.
Emily and Justin are in bed discussing which of his female friends he finds attractive and would, if circumstances were different, pursue. Why? For the love of GOD, that is not something I would ever want to talk to Adam about. I prefer to remain in my admittedly cracked and unstable world of delusions when it comes to things like that. I think I would curl up into a ball and cry or, actually, no, I would definitely do something other than that. It would be very unpleasant and just writing about how would not ever have this discussion with him is making me all depressed, so I'm going to stop.
Hrm. Nothing else. I suck. Life is not the greatest right now, in most respects. Any and all self-confidence/esteem that I may have once had has completely disappeared. But I've got the best boyfriend ever, so there's something to be thankful for. Someone, rather. I shudder to think what I would be like without his light in my presently rather dark and unpleasant world. So... Adam, I love you. Everything else needs to stop with the incredibly suck.
'Night.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005