October 31, 2003 :: 2:34 a.m.
BitchZilla Attacks Tokyo!
Hello, readers. I hope all three of you are doing well. I'm not doing so badly myself, aside from being up way too late. School blows if for no other reason than that it has totally corrupted my comfortable sleeping habits. 2:30 is not late. 2:30 is an hour and a half before my usual "bedtime." However, since I am, of course, a slave to academia and must get up before noon... you can see where I'm going with this. I shouldn't even be writing here now, and yet I press on. Why? The world may never know.
I just spent the last two hours attempting to hobble my way through a very simple pattern from the best knitting book ever, Stitch 'N Bitch: The Knitter's Handbook. It was authored by the effulgent (heh) Debbie Stoller, of BUST fame. It's half instruction, half patterns, and chock full o' goodness. I mean, there's a cat bed! I can knit a freaking cat bed! And I totally will, of course. If not for my cats, then for Adam's sister's cats or for Amanda's kitties. Who ends up sleeping in it is really beside the point.
Anyway, back to what I was saying before my switch got stuck on Gush Mode. I spent the last two hours knitting, get this, a wristband. And I don't say "get this" because it's so incredible; no, I say "get this" because it should not have taken me two hours to knit a single wristband. There were extenuating circumstances, though. Like *dum dum DUM* intarsia. Or fair isle. Or whichever the fuck it is where you use multiple colors on the same row and float the unused stuff behind your work. I think I may have just described them both, actually, one after another. I am bastardizing knitting terminology. I do not care. I never got the difference between those two anyway. But I had to learn to do it, because this particular wristband had a nice little star in the middle of it in a contrasting color. And I sort of learned how to do it. In a way. I think I did it incorrectly, though, just like I merged the two definitions into one hideously incorrect monster definition. Only this was worse, because I actually have to look at it. The back is such a mess. I'd be genuinely embarrassed if I had any kind of clue as to what it's actually supposed to look like. Argh.
In non-knitting news, Creative Writing was a good time, as always. He made me read a story that I turned in last week. Aloud. In front of people. That part was less fun. Also, we did a lot of workshopping, and one of the stories was this Lifetime Original Movie-esque piece of cheese about a supermodel who was disfigured in some vague but terribly tragic accident at a nightclub and was all estranged and then had totally implausible plastic surgery and was restored to her old, fantastically beautiful self again, which of course led to a touching reconciliation between her and the requisite Two-Dimensional Boyfriend and the realization that people are beautiful no matter what they look like.
Please excuse me while I vomit up everything I've ever eaten in my entire life.
I'm sorry, but that was just painful to read. Not that I'm like, Our Lady of Spectacular Writing or anything, but come on. If I go back up two paragraphs and re-read my brief synopsis, I'm fairly sure I'd be able to visibly see the sap oozing from between the letters. I could make maple syrup, for god's sake. And if you're going to try to write a trite, predictable story about "Woe is me" beautiful people, could you PLEASE try to pick a tense and stick with it? Let's not do the time warp again. Not before I have a chance to eat again, please. Dry heaving is very unpleasant.
Er, sorry. Maybe I'm a little harsh. But people who assert themselves as Writers should at least try to get these things right. Right? Or maybe I'm just BitchZilla tonight. Whatever. I never claimed to be a good person.
Blargh. Bedtime. I'll update at some point with more riveting recaps of my glamorous life here in central PA. Stay tuned.
Also: Happy Halloween! Or Samhain, for those of us who are of a more pagan persuasion. Whichever - dress up, eat candy. It's good times.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005