November 15, 2001 :: 2:31 a.m.
a balloon, though - that's fucked up.
listening to... BT's "R & R." Track 1 as I write this, a remix of "Remember."
reading... still "Me Talk Pretty One Day," by David Sedaris. And I just got done reading an email from Adam, so you know.
feeling... good. :)
I went over to Joe's tonight, and we hung out and watched Stigmata and such. It was fun times. Carla and her new-ish boyfriend came over to watch it with us, and you want to know something trippy? I knew the guy. She's dating a guy named Chad, and it turns out that I went to school with him and he used to live in my neighborhood and everything. When they came in he was like, "Hey Amanda!" Freaked me out a bit. It was cool, though. Stigmata is an awesome movie. Adam and I rented in once, but we got... *ahem* distracted... and didn't see most of it. ;) You know. Joe's kitty is getting bigger every time I see him! Aww, he's the cutest thing alive, I swear. He's still into the biting thing though. He especially likes feet. I don't understand that. Feet are foul and disgusting and I can say, as someone who thoroughly enjoys biting things, that feet are definitely not something that I have any desire to put into my mouth. Yech. Anyhow, we decided to make Wednesday night Movie Night, so next week we're going to rent Freeway.
I didn't get to talk to Adam tonight. :( That makes me sad. We usually talk every night, and I look forward to getting to hear his voice... I miss him so much it makes me sick. But I guess he called like two minutes after I left for Joe's, so we missed each other. And since I just got home, I don't think it would be very appropriate to call him. We're supposed to go to the Humane Society tomorrow to look for a kitten, but Mason told me that he's getting one from a friend of his this weekend, so maybe we'll see a movie or something. Actually, no, I'm broke as hell, sooo... we can just hang out and cuddle and talk and be cute. That's always good with me.
In the car on my way home it occured to me that I must be a very fickle person. So many interests and pursuits grab my full attention for days, weeks, months, and then suddenly they just don't appeal to me anymore. Maybe it's a circumstance thing? I was very into photography in high school, but now I don't even take pictures anymore. I guess it's because I don't have access to a darkroom, but I've sort of lost interest in it in general... I mean, for a while I was considering going to school and majoring in photography, but that thought went out the window a while ago. I'm so indecisive; I have a hard time committing to things. I suppose it's because I don't want to miss out on anything else, but that's a stupid way to look at life. I've been into so many things: anthropology, music, journalism, poetry, fiction writing, french, astronomy, pottery (until I discovered that I am not good at pottery at all), photography, web-design... Bah. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. My train of thought has derailed and crashed into the train that carries my logic from place to place.
I called Borders this morning. No job. Sucks to be me. I have no idea where I'm going to start looking... there's nothing around here but car dealerships and garages, malls and department stores. I definitely don't want to serve. I applied at Friendly's because I thought it would be fun to be a waitress, and because Amanda (my friend, not myself) worked there already. Uh... no. I am not a people person. I do not like people. I especially do not like being a personal servant to rude Carlisle-ites who wear their socks too high, and I really don't enjoy doing that for a two dollar tip. I need to work in cube where I will have no human contact. Maybe I'll try cooking somewhere.
I did something to my leg (well, knee), and I have no idea what. It hurts like a mother, though. I realized this when I tried to run to the kitchen. I was trying to run to the kitchen because my dad yelled my name, sounding like something was very wrong. Which I suppose it was, since the toaster oven was engulfed in flames. So now I can't toast bread and there's a big fat scorch mark on the tiles in front of the refrigerator. God, I lead such a dysfunctional existence. My nose hurts, too, because I had to do the "remove and reinsert" ritual with my nose stud last night, but I haven't done it in a while and it hurt really bad. I need to get something else to put in it, because what I have in now is like an instrument of torture. It's a plain silver stud, but at the end of it there's a tiny ball a bit bigger than the post. I imagine its purpose is to keep the thing in my nose, but it also causes severe pain upon removal. That = no good.
I can't believe it's almost been a year for Adam and I. It amazes me. On November 17th, we will have been together for an entire year. Wow. I just repeated myself hardcore, but hey. That's also the day we're going to see Poe in Pittsburg, and there's meteor shower early early early in the morning on the 18th. It'll be a fun time. :) I've been stressing about what to get him for this thing... I've got one thing, and a card of course, but what else? I don't know. I sort of don't think presents are even necessary... I mean, I'd rather just spend time with him than give/get all the gifts in the world. Having him to myself is a precious commodity these days, and so I do regard it as a gift of sorts - the gift of oneself, and really, isn't that the greatest gift of all?
I should go to sleep. I never go to sleep at a reasonable hour. It's not like I have anywhere to be tomorrow or anything, but still. It would be nice to get up before noon. Early morning is my favorite time of day, and it's very sad that the only time I get to experience it is when it's 7 am and I haven't gone to bed yet.
A Missive To Any Motivation Faeries Out There: Help me!!!! I am desperately in need of assistance here. I am a sad and unworthy specimen of human life, but I mean well, and if any of you could find it in your hearts to pay me a visit and maybe help me get out of this... slump... it would be most appreciated. Thank you!
*leaves milk and honey for the faeries*
-Amanda
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005