December 01, 2003 :: 12:14 a.m.
well happy fucking holidays to you too, bitch
Okay, so... this whole 'holiday spirit, goodwill toward your fellow man' thing? Is crap. I had more people be unnecessarily rude and snippy to me in the 8 hours that I spent at work today than I have in freaking MONTHS. It was ridiculous. And coupled with the fact that I am officially Coming Down With Something, my day was rather a bust. Feeling like thoroughly smushed road kill while being treated like a serf by middle-aged women with strange plastic flower obsessions does not a happy Amanda make.
And seriously, WHAT THE HELL is with fake flowers? And stupid glitter-encrusted holiday garland? I cut my finger and my arm on some of that shit tonight - it's a danger. Also, it's ugly.
I asked every damn person in the store tonight if they could cover for me tomorrow night, as I anticipate that this feeling like ass-ness will only increase as the next few days go by, but of course no one could. Or wanted to. Whatever. So I have to go in unless I'm vomiting and bleeding from my eyes, because I have this sick sense of duty toward people that I don't even like. School, work, family... it's all in there. I wish I weren't so damn responsible. At the root of it all is that I'm just terrified of upsetting anyone, which I do actually know is very stupid. However, knowing something is stupid/untrue has never stopped me from thinking it all the same, so a whole hell of a lot of good that does me. Gah.
Well kids, I'm starting to wear down. My bed is calling me: "Come, lay yourself down in my warm softness and forget about all the bad stuff for 8 hours." What it doesn't mention is that I'll probably spend that 8 hours dreaming about the bad stuff, because my subconscious doesn't believe in downtime. How entirely unamusing.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005