December 06, 2001 :: 12:28 p.m.
hell is where I keep my clothes
listening to... my parent talk about checks and money and things.
reading... The Golden Compass, by Philip Pullman.
feeling... bland.
It's gross out today. I don't even want to go outside. I'm weird about doing things sometimes, like if it's dark or blah out. It seems like things just shouldn't be accomplished when it's like that. But unfortunately it doesn't work that way, or no one would get anything done half the time. Not that I do, anyway, but you know. At least some people are productive.
Speaking of productive, I emailed my photography teacher from high school and asked if he had the time to help me put together a portfolio. For some reason my focus about school has changed completely, and now I'm pretty sure I want to do the photography thing. It's kind of odd, because that's really the first thing I considered, back when this college thing was just beginning to rear its ugly head. I dismissed the idea for reasons that I don't remember now, probably because it wasn't creative or artsy enough. But you know what? I'm not all that artsy, at least by the stereotypical definition of the word. I don't paint well, I don't really draw all that exceptionally well, and I don't have brilliant ideas cropping up all over the place. I'm not weird or pretentious or sullen or starving. I am not "artsy" like that. I think people who can paint and draw and create things of beauty with their hands are amazing; to be able to see the world in shapes and colors and translate that into a flat image is incredible. However, I really can't do that. That's why I never got into it, and why trying to now is rather unfruitful.
Photographs are a different story altogher, though. I think I prefer black and white to color, simply because of the texture and depth you get with b&w. There's something so beautiful about pictures - not snapshots or polaroids, I mean photographs. Images of life and people and special events, or completely ordinary things. Portraiture can be the most gorgeous thing, if it's done well. The texture of skin and the patterns in hair, the depth and transparency produced when light hits the eyes. I don't mean Sears-type portaits, obviously. Those are just pictures, with no artistic value. I think they're rather tacky looking most of the time, anyway.
Okay... tangent over. All I really wanted to say was that I think I've decided what I want to do, but I can't ever keep things short. I need to stop doing that. But hey, it's my diary, right? I suppose I can ramble on if I want to.
I should do some more christmas shopping today. I want to go to Borders and get something for Carla, and maybe for Adam. I don't know. I'm not in too much of a shopping mood right now. Maybe because I hate spending money when I don't really have any. I mean, I do, but I don't have a source of income. Actually, maybe instead of shopping I bust out the crafty stuff today and work on some of that. I need to find my Mod-Podge, which is somewhere in the depths of my closet - that should be an adventure. My closet looks like hell, assuming that hell is full of boxes and clothes and is home to a rarely-used assortment of sewing supplies. I used to be under the illusion that I could sew fairly well, but alas, this is not so. I'm semi-proficient when it comes to making pillows, but beyond that I'm a lost cause.
You know, honestly, I don't particularly like my grandmother.
-Amanda
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005