December 06, 2004 :: 11:22 a.m.
give the lady her prize, Dick!
Dude. So there was this lady, right? And she bought a turkey to cook on Thanksgiving, except that when she stuck her hand up inside its carcass to pull its guts out
she found a head, too, not just minced up giblety goodness. So she was all traumatized, because OH MY GOD MY TURKEY HAD A HEAD! A HEAD! AND IT'S HERE, INSIDE ITS BODY! A HEAD! INSIDE ITS BODY! So she decided to cook a pig instead, because they don't have heads or anything. Oh yeah, and then she called up her lawyer, 'cause she was so traumatized by the fact that turkeys actually run around with heads and stuff that only money will soothe the aching hole that years of being lied to by the poultry industry has left behind.
Seriously, what the fuck? I do not understand people at all.
P.S. - My Western Art final is not until Wednesday. I am peeved beyond words. I hulked out and snapped my pen in half when the realization that I am going to have to keep this laundry list of dates and names in my head until Wednesday set in. GRRRR, ARRRGH.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005