December 17, 2002 :: 12:15 a.m.
cats and llamas form the same municipality
It's been another somewhat depressing day at home, so you this entry should just be chock full o' spine-tingling excitement. Only not. The only thing of any interest that happened today was getting ice cream with Adam, and that's really only interesting if you're me. He came over when my brother Jobe was here, though, so he got to meet him... now he only has one or two more siblings to meet before he can claim to have mingled with the entire horrifying Chronister brood. I always feel bad making him interact with my family, because to be perfectly honest, we're fucked up to no end. I don't even like being around my family most of the time. His family is nice and normal, especially in contrast. It's kind of shame-inducing on my part, as much as it shouldn't be. But the sins/shortcomings of my family do reflect back upon me, no matter how hard I try to escape them, and it makes me feel about
this big. Blah.
Something weird: Adam and I have been together for over two years, and our parents have never met. Not one single time. I find that very odd, and yet I can't imagine rushing to correct this situation. Because it would be awkward and weird beyond measure. My parents are weird on a good day; right now they're having trouble with civilized conversations. This is not exactly conducive to any sort of harmonious meeting.
My eyes are tired, my shoulders hurt, and I'm bored out of my mind. I'm going to get myself ready for bed when I'm done with this and then just draw or read or possibly stare at the white crinkliness that is my ceiling until I can't stay awake any longer. It's very sad that being at home is more depressing than being at school, a place that I do not in any way particularly enjoy. The thing is, at school I have my little cinderblock room, and Adam is right upstairs, and I get to watch Buffy every night and take walks around the admittedly pretty campus. Granted, there is the roommate and the classes and the homework and the dining hall food, but that's trivial crap. (I suppose it doesn't bode well for my academic future that I call my classes/homework "trivial crap.") Here I have a cramped, disorganized room that smells like cat pee (a big fat thanks goes out to whichever of the four kitties is responsible for that), Adam is definitely not right upstairs, I have to beg and/or bribe Mason to let me watch Buffy in his room, and there are no walks because a) I do not like to talk walks alone, especially at night and b) this neighborhood is not pretty in any sense of the word. The only redeeming qualities are no classes and a much more convenient place to park my car.
Mer. When did coming home becoming unpleasant? A big part of it is the thing with my parents, what with the tension and the empty, foreign feeling that's hanging around the house. Another part, though, is that I'm just ready to be out of here - away from my parents and the house that I grew up in. Too bad that requires money, of which I have none. Sad.
I've been writing this for over an hour, so I'm thinking that it's definitely time to stop. It's officially the 17th, and so I say: happy 25 months to Adam and I. Happiness. I feel bad that I couldn't get him a present, though, but with Christmas, oh, 8 days away, I can't afford it. I'm broker than broke and poorer than poor, as they say. Even though "they" don't really say that, as far as I know. Oh well; it's still true.
Anyhoo... 'night.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005