December 24, 2003 :: 9:32 p.m.
jehovah's witnesses give me nightmares
Oh, man. I'm so stuffed full of food that it's likely my innards will force themselves through my skin and spill out all over the floor in a mess of cheesecake and pizza and cookies. Today was not a diet day, obviously. Tomorrow won't be, either. It's really pointless self-torture to try to stay on a diet on christmas, I think. I couldn't do it. And I'll regret it when I weight myself on Sunday, I'm sure, but I'll deal. I'll be disappointed and angry at myself, and then I'll jump right back on the healthy eating train and everything will be a-okay.
I have accumulated a total of 278 dollars today, all but about 8 of which came from places other than my checking account. My dad, grandma, and uncle all gave me money for christmas, which is fabulous for several reasons. I was broke, and now I'm not. I can buy yarn or books or whatever I want, and they don't have to go shopping for me. It works out well. Mason and I went over to my grandma's for presents and pizza this afternoon, and then I went to Adam's mom's house for dinner. Oof. His sisters and mom all got me presents, which was really nice of them... but now I feel terrible because I didn't get them anything. It was very awkward. They got me really fun stuff, though - a Chococat purse and journal, a Deery-Lou wallet, this origami thing that I'm fairly certain I won't be able to go, and a knitting bag with kitties on it. Mucho excitement.
And I have three more celebrations to attend tomorrow! Dear lord. Adam's dad's, my family's gathering at Shanny's, and then a quick stop off at grandma's just to make an appearance. It's craziness.
I wrote an entry earlier, but didn't have time to post it. So I'll do that now. Behold, the Little Entry That Could.
Okay, ew. I'm reading up on the whole Jehovah's Witness thing, since my mother has unfortunately joined their ranks, and THIS SHIT FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT. I'm all for freedom of religious, but this is just scary. It's a fucking cult, is what it is. And my mother is a member. It's insane. Literally. I'm reading an article about how the rate of serious mental illness is significantly higher among Jehovah's Witnesses than in regular society. And people who join are often afflicted with emotional and/or mental problems, which are only aggravated by membership. Hello, mom. They're describing you to a T.
And the whole blood transfusion thing? It's ridiculous. And again, insane. They're supposed to choose death over a transfusion, for themselves or anyone else. My mother told Mason that she wouldn't give him blood if he needed it. That hurts. Knowing that my mother has been so completely brainwashed that she'd stand by and let her children suffer and die makes me sad. It destroys the parent/child bond. But mostly it just makes me angry.
Religious tolerance be damned, I can't support or even humor any religion that so vehemently restricts even questioning the doctrine. Questions are grounds for disfellowship. The Watchtower rules these people completely. It scares me.
And it's totally crap, from my point of view. Just about every single prediction or prophesy they've made has proven false. They change their policies on things so often that the whole thing reads like one big episode of out of control hypocrisy.
I don't know. It's a lot to think about. The more I learn, the more uncomfortable I am with it. And in turn, the more uncomfortable I am with my mother. It's stupid and strange and I don't really even know what to do or say or think. And I hadn't even given it much thought before, because I didn't know much about it. I figured that it couldn't be all that bad if my mom would join up. But apparently my mom isn't as bright or free-willed as I had imagined. And I have this foreboding feeling that this just isn't going to end well.
Wasn't that fun? That whole thing just freaks me out to no end. I wish she'd research it a little before getting involved, is all I'm saying. I'm not a fan of the blind faith. In my book that's more along the lines of brainwashing. Because how can you really believe something if you don't understand it? And how can you really understand something if you don't question it?
I found out tonight that I was never baptized. Mason wasn't either. My older brother Adam was baptized catholic, but we got left out. Not that I mind. It actually makes me happy, in a way. Not that I really cared before, because I didn't. It's just interesting. I wasn't raised christian, and I've never counted myself as such, so now I know that I'm completely untainted by the dirty fingers of the church. Heh. And also, if I'm wrong about this whole God Thing, then I guess I'm going straight to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect your trolley ticket to heaven.
Whatever. Enough religious junk. I need to knit some catnip mice for Adam's sister, because none of the ones I have here are in nice colors. And I'm very anal-retentive about things like that. So off I go to the papasan chair for knitting and some sort of DVD entertainment. Possibly a Buffy commentary, or Angel, or maybe a few episodes of Family Guy. I hope everyone has a happy [insert winter holiday of choice here]! Eat lots of junk and revel in the blatant capitalism that has replaced all that pesky religious significance.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
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Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005