March 01, 2005 :: 12:31 a.m.
I'll have the Introspection with a side of Rant
So today my "Spring Break" officially began. Quotations are necessary because it also snowed like a motherfucker and as far as I'm concerned it is not spring until the snow stops. So it's sort of just a break. And you'd think I'd be all, "Wooo! No school!," right? Except I'm not. Not really. Which is weird by any standards.
It's kind of like this: Adam's break isn't until next week, so he has school and work just like any other time. So I won't get to see him anymore than usual. And while I'm sure I'll see Cassie, I don't tend to see Deb or anyone else outside of school. Combined with my hibernation instincts, it'll be a miracle if I leave my frickin' apartment before I have to go back to school next Tuesday.
Also, may I just say that it is SO not cool to assign work over spring break? Because it is definitely not. I have to keep studying for that stupid midterm, start a painting, and have a "complete as possible" draft of a 5-page essay done for next week. Does that sound like a carefree week of Spring Break fun to you? Yeah, I didn't think so.
I can deal with the midterm and the painting, but I have no fucking clue what I'm going to write this essay about and Tyler was no help whatsoever with this complete lack of guidelines. As much as I hate having to write within strict parameters, I think I hate the wide open spaces of no restrictions even more. There are too many options and I can't even begin to suss out which ones would be appropriate. It's disconcerting.
There's also this thing where I have absolutely no motivation to do anything anymore. It's kind of ridiculous. I went outside once today. I walked to the library and then moved my car. I've been holed up inside ever since. Cassie invited me over but I declined. An evil and persistent headache factored into the decision, but I also just didn't feel like hanging out. Which is stupid beyond words, because I bitch all the time about never getting to hang out with my friends and then I get invited to do just that and I decline? WTF? I don't know. I don't want to go out. I don't want to see people. I don't want to write, or draw, or paint, or even read. I don't want to find a job, even thought I definitely DO want to find a job because I'm broke and could use the distraction. So basically I'm bored to death but I don't want to do anything.
I am truly a pillar of logic and sense. A veritable role model for confused and angst-ridden youth. I should get an award.
Or some therapy, more likely. Jesus. I confuse the hell out of myself sometimes. This is one of those times.
I'm going to read until I pass out and then wake up and do it all over again. Huzzah huzzah.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005