March 05, 2002 :: 9:02 p.m.
hygrade eggs
Mood: tired, sad.
I composed quite an in-depth entry in my head on the way home tonight, but I don't feel like typing it all out. Here's the gist of it:
Today wasn't what I expected. Somehow I'm not surprised. My expectations aren't unusually high, but they differ from what is likely and logical in such a way that they're never met. Sucks to be me. I had a lovely time with Adam, though. At around 4 p.m., Amanda and Pat came over. I was kind of looking forward to hanging out with them and kind of not. Prior to learning of these plans (which affirmed by everyone but me), I was quite pleased at the thought of having a whole day alone with Adam. That's a bit of a rarity, you see.
Amanda and Pat were their usual humorous selves, but I felt detached from it all so I wasn't as amused as I might have otherwise been. They did all the talking, recalling high school antics and inside jokes. Funny, yes, but somewhat depressing too. It reminded me of all the fun I didn't have, all the little jokes and group activities that I wasn't a part of. *sigh* All I really wanted to do was curl up with Adam and take a nap, but that didn't happen. Such is life, I suppose.
After they left it seemed like I shouldn't be there, either, so I came home. Adam's mother intimidates me. Not intentionally, I'm sure, but she does. Thus, I exited. On the way home I listened to Boy for Pele and cried a little, for reasons that I'm not quite sure of. I make so little sense, even to myself. I don't know why I ever expect other people to know how I feel when I can barely figure myself out.
So basically... today was part good and part mediocre. I don't know what else to say about it. I'm going to eat some pudding. Tapioca, of course. Perhaps it'll cheer me up.
I saw a truck with "Hygrade Eggs" written on the back of it tonight. It made me smile.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005