July 21, 2003 :: 11:49 p.m.
he don't need no penis extender
Wow, two whole days without an update. Shame on me. I've opened up this here entry box about six times, but I just never had anything to say. Strange, I know. Usually I'm a crazy-go-nuts chatter box when faced with a blank writing space, but it was a rather uneventful weekend. Lots of fun, but still uneventful.
Adam and I are Bocce Ball Royalty. We rock. We've consistently kicked the Joes' asses, which I find really amusing since we didn't even know what the game was until they bought a set. I like it. It's very non-strenuous, which is important if you're a lazy fat-ass like myself. Also, it's so un-sport-like that I can't take it seriously enough to be the kind of poor loser that I usually am. It's a good deal all around.
The spectacular gay duo also purchased an Xbox recently, and now I covet one obsessively. Just for the Buffy, of course, but that doesn't make the coveting any weaker. I had my heart set on getting one from my grandma during our birthday outing today, but I was once again shat upon by the universe. Instead of a glorious Xbox and Buffy bundle, I got lunch and eighty bucks. I really don't understand why the hell everyone hates me so much. This is my family. They're supposed to love me, right? I'm her only granddaughter! And you can't say that it's because I'm too old for good presents, either; my brother Adam turned 24 last month and she got him a fancy-shmancy new grill. Mason was still getting presents two months AFTER his birthday. And yet here I am, the only granddaughter, and I get a bowl of soup and a bit of cash. Not to mention the fact that Adam, my dear older brother, didn't even remember my birthday. Fucker. What, growing up together wasn't enough to hammer the date home? We'll just see how many presents or phone calls YOU get next year, you heartless bastard.
I try to see the humor in all this "red-headed stepchild" treatment, but really it just depresses the hell out of me. You'd think being the only child to avoid criminal behavior would be worth something, but apparently it's not. I could be a cracked-out prostitute, whoring myself out to feed my six fatherless babies for all it seems to matter. So I figure that I must be a horribly unsavory person to make my own family dislike me so much. This is not a happy thought. In fact, it makes me cry. Because it's not nice to feel like all of your efforts are completely ignored, you know? Le sigh.
Oh, and in case you haven't picked up on the undertones here... this isn't about the presents. I don't really give a shit about the presents (although I would have loooved that Xbox...); contrary to what it may seem, I'm not quite that shallow or materialistic. It's about the fact that I'm like the neglected stepchild that lives in the attic because no one wants to see her ugly, annoying face. Material gifts just happen to be a reasonable standard of judgment in this case.
Anyway, onto more amusing things.
I took this quiz, thanks to a link in Amanda's journal. My result was surprisingly fitting: sniper/professional killer. Oh, they know me so well.
There's an alligator in Italian Lake. It has apparently been given the mafia-esque name of Little Tony. I sort of want to see it.
I totally want one of these, even though my cats are quite easy to read without any help. Rufus is especially transparent. "Let me go outside before I rip your throat open and feast on your brain stem, you worthless stain on animal-kind." He's such a sweetie.
And lastly, speaking of cats, here's a very amusing picture of my Giles. I think perhaps he may be even more of a star than Rufus, if only because Rufus is such a boy-diva. Giles is very likeable, and he knows how to manipulate people into doing what he wants using charm instead of violence. And really, just look at him. He's too sexy for his fur, baby. The camera loves him.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005