March 22, 2002 :: 2:41 a.m.
no filter in my head
*sigh* Very tired. I just finished burning some CDs for Adam, and soon it will be off to bed for me. My hair is now a bit too short and looks funny. I briefly contemplated going at it with a pair of scissors or a sharp kitchen knife, but decided that it's better to replace the broken window than to tear down the whole house. Or something like that. If it's broken and you know that taking a sledgehammer to it will only increase the damage, put that sucker away and learn to live with a draft.
Basically.
I am now the proud owner of John Mayer's Room For Squares, my latest object of musical lust, courtesy of my most wonderful boyfriend. He's way too nice to me. He's also been inadvertently freaking me out lately, which I must bring up next time we get some time alone. There's a thin veneer of things that we don't talk about, things that aren't discussed, and it's not at all healthy. I feel alienated, I'm sure he feels alienated, and feeling alienated has no place in a relationship unless it involves a probe and takes place on a large, floating mother ship. Note to self: Transcend ingrained habits and/or predetermined zodiac characteristics and start talking about things. Don't cop out of discussing your thoughts and feelings because you're afraid of his reaction; don't let him cop out, either. Break out the iron fist and start putting holes in shit.
Welcome to my TV show, completely uncensored. It's coming out because I'm tired. My mind is in a bit of an alpha state and has better things to do than worry about what my clumsy fingers are spelling out. Revelation #1: My brain cells have mutated and become something very unfamiliar. I used to know myself so well. I thought I did, at least. Now I'm not sure what's going on in there. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It forces me to dig and who knows, maybe one of these times I'll hit something hard and discover a chest full of rubies.
An old man in a hospital bed just dreamt of a woman being electrocuted. I saw it on HBO, so it must be true. Along that line, I watched The Laramie Project tonight and my eyes didn't leave the screen once. My faith in humankind was at once shattered and mended. A strange predicament, that. It seems a perpetual problem of mine. It seems unreal for one species to have such a great moral and ethical flux from individual to individual. Shouldn't there be more coherence? A group mind, a central value system, a solid foundation of common thought upon which each person builds their own ideals? Perhaps not. Perhaps this is the natural way of things. Perhaps I really don't have any idea what I'm talking about anymore. I'd put my last few dollars on it.
Purple cabbage makes me think of construction paper.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005