April 04, 2002 :: 7:53 p.m.
hemorrhage: inevitable
I was talking to Adam online just now, and I said something that is more true than it probably should be: Nothing seems like fun anymore.
Seriously. Fun is something that I can't even fathom. The only person that I really want to see or talk to is Adam. I mean, I talked to Amanda this morning, and that was fine and good, but talking on the phone is different than, say, going out and doing something. I don't want to go out and do something. I want to sleep. If I had access to my boyfriend, I would want to sleep with him, and I mean that in the most non-sexual way possible. Alas, I do not, so I just want to sleep by myself. I'm irritable and annoyed and even more emotional than usual. I'm disinterested. I don't want to drive to Harrisburg to see Joe, despite the fact that I haven't seen him in over a week. I don't want to drive at all. I didn't want to go to the Delia*s store in Philly with Amanda tonight. I am poor. I don't want to go look for a job. I want to sleep and sleep and wake up to change the CD and put out the candles, then go back to sleep.
This cannot be natural.
edited at 9:10 p.m. Who's going to be working at the porn shop? I'm going to be working at the porn shop! WOO!
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
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