April 16, 2003 :: 12:45 a.m.
there's not much to say on five bucks a day
Having recovered from a period of bitter catatonia, our heroine returns to fill you in on her exciting evening activities. Rejoice and throw confetti at your leisure.
I got paid today. It felt good. I have this vicious cycle of poverty/binge spending going on, and it's probably really unhealthy in terms of my future financial stability but I just can't bring myself to care. See, I have no money. Ever. It's a very sad situation that considerably increases the time I spend in foul spirits, because being poor is less fun than being forcibly baptized in a creek by a crazy southern preacher. I mean, I'm as comforted as any other person by shopping therapy, but do I get to do it? No, I don't. I'm stuck here in a crappy cinderblock room with a shallow, inconsiderate roommate and I don't even get to experience the pleasure of purchasing physical goods. It's totally unfair, and I, for one, would be very interested in signing any petitions that you may know of.
So yes... more often than not, it's all lust and no have for me when it comes to stuff. You know the stuff. And it hurts me greatly for two reasons. I'm a huge packrat, so I naturally enjoy surrounding myself with things. Also, I'm pretty inherently materialistic. Many people try to deny it, but not me. Nope. I love stuff, I want stuff, stuff makes me happy. The best things in life are so totally NOT free that it stopped being funny before I was born. I mean, what's the best thing in life? Love? Friendship? Nothing is free. Everything comes with its own set of obligations, usually involving the exchange of currency for gifts or activities. I love Adam, and so I want to get him things. But I can't, and it sucks. I don't NEED to buy him gifts, but it makes me happier when I can. So sure, there's some good stuff out there that you can, oh, look at or maybe walk through for free. Woods, parks, etc. And that's fine and good, but give me a nice discman, a few good CDs, and a new book to occupy myself while I take in the splendor of nature and things get a whole lot more pleasant.
Ahem. Where was I? Right, the cycle. I very rarely have money, so when I do my immediate instinct is to spend it all as quickly as possible. I could try not to, but when you lust after something for months on end it just seems wrong to deny yourself when you can finally afford it, you know? So this afternoon, Adam and I headed to Colonial Park with $95 burning a hole in my wallet.
First stop: Target. Acquired: the Angel season one DVDs and the Spirited Away DVD for Adam. He bought me the Kiki's Delivery Service DVD, which makes me squeal like a little girl who just won a foot massage from her favorite boy band member du jour.
Second stop: Borders. Acquired: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Philosophy: Fear and Trembling in Sunnydale. Philosophy? Me? What is this alternate universe and how do we change it back? I'll admit that I'm not notoriously known for my philosophical leanings, basically because philosophy is just a whole lot of what other people think and I don't really tend to care much about that. But oh, they've found my weakness (one of them, anyway). Integrate Buffy into something and chances are I'll snap it up as soon as I get my hands on the monetary means. Some would say this is sad. To them I say... perhaps, but as I am a giant loser I have to make my own fun.
Minor Stops: the gas station and Mama's Pizza. Acquired: gas (duh) and cheap, yummy food.
I'm once again reduced to having eight dollars to my name, but I think it was worth it.
I watched the first disc of Angel tonight and finished up stripe #17 of the Gryffindor scarf. I'm thinking it'll be done by the end of the week if I knit quick like a bunny. I should also get my Visual Arts and Global Pop papers done, just so that I don't have to deal with them over break. Gee, what a responsible and industrious plan. Too bad it probably won't happen. I'm contradictory that way.
By my clock, it's 1:13 in the morning. I should really go to bed. And for once, I believe I shall. Sleep tight and things.
'Night.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
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