April 21, 2002 :: 11:05 p.m.
I don't even know myself anymore
Entry number five. This will be the last for tonight, I promise. I just have to say a few things before I go lecture myself on the importance of not being a fucking psychotic bitch toward the most important person in my life.
I feel like the scum of the earth. Sewage. Mold. All the bad things that just infest everything and never go away because no one wants to touch them. They're that hideous. They're evil, and evil is precisely how I feel right now. Bad and evil and disgusted and ashamed. Like I should have been either aborted or born mute, because it would save the people I love (in specific one person - you know who) a lot of agony. Because anything that comes from me, anything that I feel or think or say, is stupid and petty and pointless.
Someone please do me a favor and break into my house tonight and kill me. You can take whatever you want, just don't hurt anyone else. I'm not capable of doing it myself but it seems like the best possible plan at this point.
End.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
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