June 05, 2004 :: 10:37 p.m.
bad things are always happening
So, the big news of the day... Giles died. As in, he is dead. I don't know what happened to him. No one does. He hadn't seemed well for the last few days, just sort of listless, not eating much, sleeping more than normal. He started crying a little bit this morning, so my mom called and made an appointment to take him to the emergency vet clinic at 3:30. He was down in the basement when we went to put him in the carrier. He was having a seizure, and when my mom picked him up and wrapped him in towel (for cushioning, not like a shroud or anything...) he just went limp. We took him upstairs and got the carrier ready to take him to vet STAT. He made a few noises and twitched a little and then he just... stopped. He died in our kitchen at quarter after 2.
We rushed him to the emergency vet clinic, but there was nothing they could do. He was gone.
We'll be able to pick up his ashes in two to three weeks.
And now I'm bawling again just thinking about it. God, I just... I don't know what happened to him, and it's eating away at me. He hardly ever went outside, and when he did he didn't leave the porch. He was up to date on all of his shots. There was no catfight or accident or antifreeze laying around anywhere. He's never had a seizure before in his life. Ever. I can only assume that it was in some way related to his feline leukemia, but he's always been fairly healthy despite it. I don't get it. And it still doesn't seem real. I mean, he'd been a little under the weather, but that's a far cry from dead. Shouldn't I have been able to tell?
He was so young. And such a sweet, beautiful cat. I loved him so much. I miss him. And I hate this. I hate that I can't stop crying. I hate that I have a reason to be crying. I hate that we don't have any good pictures of him. That I don't have a collar or a favorite toy to remember him by. But mostly I just hate that he's not here anymore.
Not much else to say, I guess.
R.I.P Giles, June 5, 2004
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005