June 22, 2003 :: 2:22 a.m.
you're a fucking freak in this world
I'm always really thirsty at night. It's annoying. When I do finally trudge downstairs to get a drink, I end up chugging it so fast that my throat seizes up and swallowing iced tea feels like giving birth in reverse. Not that I've ever given birth myself, of course, but that whole "squeezing a watermelon through a hole the size of a lemon" thing applies just as well in the iced tea situation as it does in the baby-having one.
I'm very tired. Adam and I spent the afternoon being lazy, pretty much. He came over at 3-ish, we laid around in various stages of undress, went out for pizza, and then sat on the couch watching Court TV until 11 o' clock, at which point he had to either drive home and sleep or stay at my house. The former was chosen, of course, because the universe hates me and wants me to suffer. I think that it may actually throw beer and peanuts parties with all of its friends to further enhance the already pleasurable experience of watching me be miserable and unenthused. If I were the type of person to look for the shiny silver lining that surrounds every sad grey rain cloud, I suppose I would take some comfort in knowing that at least someone gets a kick out of my life. But as I'm obviously not that kind of person, I'm more inclined to spend my lonely, boring evening plotting horrible, murderous revenge. Yeah, if I ever get my hands on these "Universe" assholes, some serious shit will go down.
My dad (not sure about Mason and my mom) is leaving for the beach tomorrow. If you look over at the calendar thing on your right, you'll notice that my family was supposed to be gone from the 21st to the 28th - it's the annual trip to the shore with my sister Shanny and her two kids. This year's trip hasn't gone as planned, though, due to the fact that EVERYONE is fighting. My mom and dad, Shanny and Jim (her boyfriend)... well, that's not everyone in the entire universe, but it's everyone who was going. So now Jim isn't going, and my parents are only going for three or four days. Mason may not go at all. I sort of want to, even though I'm not usually much of a beach person, but I probably won't. I totally would if Adam could come with me, but he has to work all week and I really don't feel like being down there by myself. By myself = hanging around a hotel and watching TV while everyone else runs around on the beach. I do not wear bathing suits. I haven't owned one since I was approximately thirteen years old. I also do not enjoy crowds of people. And while I do love to swim, the combination of body shame and severe antisocial tendencies doesn't exactly make me the best beach buddy. Alas.
I guess I'll just stay here and continue the seemingly futile job search. There's an ad in the classifieds for a receptionist at a vet's office, Monday through Friday, 1 to 9. I would LOVE to apply, but the hours conflict so heavily with Adam's that I would literally never see him. We're talking only on weekends here, and I'm not at all cool with that. So I most likely will not be applying for the very fun job, even though thinking about it gives me a big happy. And that is in no way meant as a sexual innuendo of any kind, you sick, sick, perverts.
Blah. I'm going to go brush my teeth with my new, slightly orange-tasting toothpaste (Aquafresh Extreme Clean, if you're interested), read some Harry Potter, and then lay me down to sleep, as they say. I've never been a Christian individual, but for some reason that one child's prayer is permanently stuck in my head. You know: "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, and if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take." Whatever. If I die before I wake I'd like someone to throw a fucking party for me.
Thank you and goodnight.
Oh, right. Happy Solstice and things. I know I missed it, but I was also 7 hours late in taking my anti-baby pill tonight, so it's nothing personal.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005