July 28, 2003 :: 12:07 p.m.
episode #982, in which everything sucks. again.
See that quote off to the right? Yeah, that about sums it up. I woke up at 9 o' clock, twenty minutes before my alarm was set to go off, because the dog was barking his head off at something downstairs. It turns out that that "something" was Pat, watering the plants in our backyard. It's disconcerting how she just wanders around my house. So, up early. Two minutes later, Gizmo vomits all over the kitchen table. There's no better way to start the day than with a steaming pile of cat puke, I always say.
The dog knocked over a plant in the living room, spilling dirt everywhere. I think we have ants. I can't get the dishwasher OR the vacuum to work properly, and there was fucking bat in one of the houses next door last night. My solution to the tarot pouch closure problem sucked satan's balls, so I have to go back to Joann's and spend yet more money on buttons and ribbon. I have to leave soon to take my grandma to the grocery store, which I totally do not want to do because this day has blown ass thus far and I honestly don't think trailing after an elderly woman with a shopping cart for three hours is going to perk things up at all. But I have to, of course, because the universe wants me to suffer and be miserable. Way to go with that, by the way. You're doing a splendid job. I wouldn't be surprised if you got promoted.
Adam gave me saltwater taffy last night, and it's all gone now. I love me some saltwater taffy - especially vanilla and lemon. Lime is also yummy. I should call my mom and ask her to bring some back with them, but I'm not sure how safe an entire box of taffy would be in my hands. I am something of a glutton, after all. Must work on that.
Anyway, time to go. I'm so filled with joy and rapture that I think my shriveled, shrunken little heart may just burst. There will be rainbows and leprechauns and chipmunks with little hats and streamers and those party noisemaker things. Only very emphatically NOT, because this day is destined to be horrible and unpleasant. Any day that starts out with a crazy lady brandishing a hose in your backyard just can't end well.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005