August 13, 2004 :: 8:35 p.m.
our daily bread has zero carbs!
Okay, so it's been what, three days since I updated? Yeah. I've actually wanted to sit down and write a few times since then, but for one reason or another just didn't. Adam was here last night, so obviously I had better things to do at that point. Otherwise I've just kind of been trying to keep myself occupied in one way or another. Mostly meaning that I've been sitting around watching WAY too much TV and eating even more food. Because when I'm bored or stressed or upset, I have a tendency to reach for food. Well, maybe not that last one. When I'm upset I mostly want to hurt things, but eating is my favorite cute for the other two. And since I am both bored AND stressed, well, you can just imagine how fast Weight Watchers got kicked to the proverbial curb. I'm jumping back into it full force tomorrow, though, because I feel like crap with a capital C. Possibly two bold-face capital Cs just for good measure. Because this? Is a feeling that requires extreme emphasis to communicate. I mean, this is not just feeling like crap. This is feeling like
CCrap. Fo' serious.
So as of tomorrow it is back on the point-counting wagon. No more baking because I'm bored. No more buying bags of delicious mini Hershey bars because, um, I want some chocolate but not a full-size bar. And really, WHERE is the logic in that? "Oh, I don't want to eat a whole Hershey bar so I'll just grab this here ENTIRE BAG of mini-sized ones. Yes, yes, that's exactly what I'll do."
Seriously, what is that? That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard of. I lost a bit more respect for my own intelligence just thinking about the extreme lack of sense that lies within that decision. But in any case, there will be no more of it. My house is otherwise stocked with things that are either very, very good for me (fresh fruits and veggies, whole wheat pasta and pita bread, etc) or things that, while not nutritional superstars, aren't unfriendly in the points way (philly swirl pops, frozen waffles, frozen chick patties, etc). So as long as I stop buying candy every fucking time I leave the apartment I should be okay. The massive churning in my gut should hopefully help me stick to this. As should the fact that I weigh the same today as I did in April. As in four months ago. That's just fucking sad, is all I can say on that front. I need to get my ass back on track ASAP, because while I'm not as fat as I used to be, I'm still pretty freakin' fat. And I need new jeans, but I refuse to buy them in my current size because they're too big, but I can't buy them in the next size down because that's still a wee too small. So in the name of my sad, much-abused self-confidence and the 80 bazillion holes in my one pair of wearable jeans, I declare tomorrow the official Amanda Hops Back on Weight Watchers Day. Wish me restraint, or barring that a constantly queasy tummy.
Anyway. Today has been one of the more productive days I've had since moving down here. After Adam left for work (stupid Lenscrafters, why did you make him work today? May you contract syphilis and DIE. Alone.) I dropped some stuff in the mailbox at the end of the block and then trucked down to the Duke Street Library, where I got a nifty little keychain library card and checked out three books. It's a really nice library, and I plan to make extensive use of it. Because free books? Are my friends. I came back to the apartment afterward to drop the books off and then walked to Central Market, which is, interestingly enough, the country's oldest farmer's market. It's in Penn Square in this huge old brick building. It's really neat. Lots of fresh produce. Also lots of meats, but... well, we'll just ignore that. I bought a pineapple, some broccoli, sugar-snap peas, and a few pears from one of the produce stands; everything looked wonderful and was really fairly cheap. I haven't tried any of it yet, but I believe I'll be using the broccoli and sugar-snaps in a stir-fry for dinner tomorrow, so I'll report back.
Tomorrow, the 14th, is LancasterFest. According to the website I am looking at right now, it's a "Celebration of cultures in music, dance, food and crafts with an international theme right in the heart of downtown Lancaster. Over 100 craft vendors, 25 musical acts and food! Food! Food! Free admission." Now, this thing is running from 10-5 about, oh, a block from my dwelling. It could prove an interesting way to spend a Saturday afternoon, but I may not check it out because a) I am not, under any circumstances, comfortable in crowds, and b) "Food! Food! Food!" does not bode well for Operation Back on the Wagon. But I guess we'll see. I may get so bored that I have to get out and do something. Or maybe I'll just walk by. I don't know.
Tomorrow is also Amanda's birthday. Happy birthday, my lesbian! When you come visit and/or I come visit we'll have cake and much celebration. Until then, have a fabulous time in the big Phila.
Anyway, kids, I'm going to go play around in Illustrator for a while and then maybe read until I get so tired that sleep is not so much an option as an inevitable collapse. More later.
(Oh, the title of this entry? I saw this on the message board thing outside of a big church of Orange Street today. It made me giggle. I had to use it.)
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005