August 15, 2002 :: 12:17 a.m.
stripped like bamboo in the middle of a monsoon
Mer. Today has been quite mixed. My last day at work wasn't bad - Mary Beth got my some presents, and this really cool lady named Eileen who comes in all the time got me a card and some cute stickers. It was very nice of both of them, and made me feel all special and stuff. I came home and putzed around for a while, and then met Amanda at the diner to give her her birthday presents. (Okay, quickly, does anyone else hate that? The "giver her her stuff" thing. Just like "I had had to go somewhere." Bah. It bothers me to no end.) She liked them, and all was well.
I talked to Adam for a while a bit ago, and he neglected to tell me that he's going to be out of town on Saturday (our 21-month day). I found out via his diary, and it makes me sad. In fact, it makes me cry like a lost little lamb. Or a small child with a skinned knee. Or both put together. *cries* I am so sad. Argh. I had plans, dammit! Plans! Why do my plans always get ass-raped by the Nothing Will Ever, Ever Go Your Way Fairy? Why can't I be the one whose fucking plans work out for once? Oh yeah, because then I'd be happy about something, and we can't have that happening. God forbid. If that ever comes to pass the whole fucking world might come to an end.
Geh. I am no longer in any sort of good mood. Blah. I'm not like... mad at Adam or anything. It's not his fault, I suppose. It's mine. I should know better than to think that something I want could ever become a reality. Life likes to fuck with me like that. And it doesn't work to try and pretend that I don't want it to happen, because it knows. Oh, it knows.
I'm going to stop now, because all I'm going to do is rant about how fucking crushed everything is and how appealing the endless sleep of death seems. Rah rah bad mood Amanda. Maybe I'll have something cheerier to say later.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
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