October 13, 2003 :: 2:16 a.m.
cod pieces are always in season
Okay, now
this just cracks me up to the nth degree. America is so damn boring. Where are OUR superheroes? Seriously.
And so the weekend draws to an end with the mention of a superhero vigilante. I would be very sad if I had school tomorrow, but I don't, so praise be to pointless holidays. I do have to light a fire under my butt tomorrow, though, as I have several things due this week that I haven't used my lovely free time to work on. I'm such a slacker - it's really ridiculous. But what I lack in motivation I make up in shining piles of procrastination, so hey. At least I'm an over-achiever at something.
Hrm. You know, I seem to recall a time when I actually WAS an over-achiever, for real. I wonder when that drive for academic achievement faded. Or maybe it never existed in the first place. I've never had to work very hard to get good grades. Hell, I opened a textbook maybe twice in my two semesters at LVC and I emerged with a 3.7 GPA. I learn fast. I absorb knowledge without much effort. And most importantly, I'm really ace at producing bullshit that reads like the great american novel. That's not to say that I don't do anything. If I'm genuinely interested in a subject, I study it voraciously. And if I need to work harder to do well or understand the material, then I do. But most often, effort just isn't necessary. What that says about me or about higher education, I don't know, but I do know that I've met my arch-nemesis. It comes, ironically enough, in the form of studio art classes and formal art education.
I will never get over the complete slap in the face that is discovering that what you thought was your natural, pre-determined course of study makes you more miserable that being stung by an entire nest of angry hornets. And as an extra, added bonus (how's that for extreme redundancy?), it sucks the creative drive right out of you, leaving behind a dry, empty shell of a person with no passion or desire to do anything remotely related to what that education is supposed to be fostering in the first place. It's really a foul place to be, and I honestly have no idea what to do about it. And in the process of being miserable with what was supposed to be my Perfect Major, I seem to have lost all will to try in the classes that I do like. I'm less motivated than ever. It's unpleasant, and also amazing. Just when you think you've hit bottom, you discover that, hey, look! There's even more bottom.
Gah, I'm tired. I have my interview at Joann Fabrics tomorrow - I'm hoping that works out. I can think of plenty of places that I'd rather work, but it would be a job, and at this point a job is all I care about. Border, of course, has chosen to ignore me again. I honestly don't know why I even bother anymore. I picked up an application at The Healthy Grocer on Friday, and depending on how tomorrow goes I may or may not take it back in the afternoon. And then it's time to work on Drawing homework, and 3D homework, and Anthro homework, and Creative Writing homework. God, I just... hate school.
Anyway. I think it's time for me to get off this crazy train o' fun before I puke all over the place. Ciao.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005