October 25, 2003 :: 1:18 a.m.
babies and X-rated deception
Argh. Once again, I am freezing. I love how I'm condemned to the Room of Extreme Temperatures while everyone else is warm and toasty (or alternately cool and comfortable) in their climate-controlled spaces. Fuckers.
Also, Rufus has still not come home. I'm worried. He usually doesn't stay out so long, especially when it's cold. Which it really is. I keep calling for him, but no kitty. I swear to god, when he comes back I am instituting a serious No Outdoor Cats policy. Because you know what? I am sick to fucking death of worrying about whether my cat will come back in the morning, or if he'll be squashed on the road instead. It's unnecessary and it makes me very sad.
So Adam and I trekked down to Baltimore through hellish rush-hour traffic to meet his new baby niece, Olivia. She's very cute, and Adam is adorable with her. He's really good with children. I could be considered "good with children" as well, but I would tend to argue that. It's not so much that I'm good with them as that they like me a lot, even though I'm not overly fond of them. It's like how cats always hover around people who are allergic to them or who happen to be wearing something expensive that shows hair easily. Don't get me wrong, I like kids. They're cute and amusing and kind of interesting... as long as they aren't mine. Olivia is darling, really, and if Meghan and Marty are happy then I'm happy for them, but being in the presence of this admittedly precious wee one tonight only served to reinforce how strongly I DO NOT WANT CHILDREN EVER.
I would be a horrible mother. And I'm not just saying that to validate my "No kids!" viewpoint, either... it's 100% the truth. I'm too selfish; I hate entertaining kids, I hate having to clean up after them, I hate having to make sure that they're not playing with cutlery. I have a very short temper and quite a lot of unresolved anger issues. I'm easily frustrated by people my age, these grown persons who have supposedly already learned to read and count and wipe their own asses. Do you have any idea how quickly I'm frustrated by small children, with their undeveloped motor skills and constant neediness? Five minutes, tops. Also, I think my maternal instinct is broken. Or missing. Olivia was crying tonight, and Adam was all "It's so sad! I feel so bad for her!" And yes, crying children are sad. But mostly they're just annoying. I do not want to comfort them or feed them or change their diaper. I just don't. And maybe that makes me a bad, wrong, terrible impersonation of a woman, but you know what? Too bad. I don't want kids. And it's really in the best interest of the Child Who Could Be, if you think about it. I wouldn't want me as a mom. Just think of all the potential for emotional scars.
But still, Olivia is a cutie. Really, honestly, from the mouth of a confirmed Child-Hating Hag. And she's already way cooler than Adam's stepmother's son's daughter, so kudos to Meghan and Marty for producing genetically superior offspring. Which was really inevitable, since they're both very cool themselves.
In other news, I ate way too much tonight and now feel like I'm going to puke up my kidneys. It's great fun, as you may well imagine. Blah.
Anyway, I am hellishly tired for whatever reason, and I have way too much to do before work tomorrow... so it's off to bed with me. I shall update on the morrow with tales of my ever-interesting (on that mediocre level) daily life. And possibly porn. Because who doesn't love porn, right?
(Okay, really, there probably won't be porn. But it piqued your interest, didn't it? So the work of porn is done, and with no unnecessary genital involvement. Success!)
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
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when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005