November 10, 2002 :: 10:55 p.m.
what kind of paradise am I looking for?
No Happy List this time. I'm not in the mood to think of things that make me happy because, hey, I'm not very happy. It's Sunday, the end of the weekend, the end of getting to sleep with Adam, and the beginning of the "work week," so to speak. Although the work week never really ends, because homework has been looming over me all weekend. Stupid Anthro project.
How come every time I think I've figured things out, the most integral pieces fall out of place again? It's starting to piss me the fuck off, for serious. I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm here, and you know... it's okay. I love seeing Adam every day, and I'm learning things, but it's just not... my ideal, I guess. But there's no big surprise - nothing is ever my ideal, because apparently what I would like is very far away from reality. Alas. Many thoughts have been crossing my mind, but since this isn't a DIARY or anything, it's not really the place for them. Or more realistically, I'm not going to get into them because I'll just confuse and depress myself, and quite frankly, I've got more than enough of that already.
Blargh.
Oh, and how much does this suck? Adam went upstairs at around 10 to go to bed, because he was very, very sleepy and not feeling so well. But I guess the person who was supposed to be working in the computer lab tonight didn't show up, so he had to go in. Until midnight. I feel so bad for him. I'm going to go in at around 11:40 and then walk back with him. Because this situation blows and because I love him to bits and pieces.
I don't have a whole lot more to say that wouldn't be angsty and sad, so I'll keep my little mouth shut (or keep my little fingers still, rather) for now. 'Night.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005