December 14, 2003 :: 1:33 a.m.
there's nothing like a tall glass of nog after mass carnage
Dear. God.
If I never see another scratchy artificial wreath again, it will be too fucking soon. Or another roll of wrapping paper. Or another holiday tin. Or another person pushing a red cart full of things with no price tags on them that really are on sale, they swear.
Retail? I the most horrible thing ever. It is irrefutable proof that pure evil does exist in this world. It is also proof that people are not inherently good. Because anyone who has ever worked retail during the Three Months of Christmas knows that people are too busy being inherently cheap and rude and disrespectful to make time for petty things like goodness.
I'm so tired. In less than 12 hours, I will be back at work. It's supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow, and despite the fact that I'm not terribly fond of snow I find myself wishing for a crushing blizzard. Because then maybe Jo-Ann's wouldn't be able to open, and I would be spared the horror of another 8 hours spent chained to the cash register. But it won't happen. Oh, it'll snow, but Jo-Ann's will still be open bright and early, ready to serve its beloved customers. Or "guests," as we're supposed to call them. Although frankly that's just ludicrous, but no GUEST would ever wreck their host's home like these people do our store. They're fucking animals, man. It's insanity. They tear that place apart like it's their job.
Groan. My bed is calling me, all snuggly and warm. My pillows have gone fairly flat, though. It's sad. I can fluff them a bit before I lay down, but they're still limp and insubstantial come morning. And for some reason the phrasing of that sentence really lends itself to penis jokes, but I'm going to try to rise above. Ha! No pun intended, really. It's just penis-palooza in my head, because for someone with a willing partner I do not have nearly enough sex. Alas.
Anyway, kids, it's bedtime for me. Wish me dreams in which I happily massacre a store-load of customers. In the spirit of holiday cheer, of course. I can sit and drink Silk Nog (which, by the way, is delicious) while enjoying the aftermath.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005