January 06, 2005 :: 12:30 a.m.
small joys and old disappointments
It's cold in here. It's always cold in here. Well, except for that time I called the landlord and he got my heat fixed. It was toasty warm for a while after that. But now it's cold again, and I do not have a single flipping clue what's going on. All I know is that I'm huddled under a blanket as I type this, while also bundled up in fleece pants, a t-shirt, a fleece sweatshirt, socks, and my monkey slippers. It's not so bad under the blanket, but oh, the world outside is so very cold. And cruel. Because those two, they always go hand in hand. If it's cold, it's cruel. Like popsicles. Those diabolical bastards!
Anyway. Adam was supposed to come down tonight after work, but due to crappy weather he went home instead. I'm more than a little irritated by this situation. I mean, yes, of course I'd rather have him stay at home tonight than drive down here and end up sliding on the icy road and killing himself so that I never get to see him again, ever, but... dude! I only have a few days left before school starts and we go back to the weekends-only routine. Is it too goddamn much to ask that the weather cut me a little slack? Huh? Apparently. It didn't go all sleet and freezing rainy LAST night, did it? No. Why? Because Adam wasn't coming down last night, that's why. GOD.
Ahem. I'm just kind of pissed at circumstance, is all. And since Circumstance tends to not give a shit, I'm left directing all of my pissitude and disappointment at Adam, even though freezing rain is not among the realm of things that are his fault. I feel bad about it, and after a while I got over it, but... it sucks. Not just tonight. The whole situation sucks. I just want him to be here, and he's not, and it makes me mad even though I know that there are valid, logical, real life reasons for him not being here. Unfortunately, the logical portion of my brain is only about the size of a quarter. This leads to trouble, and also much hysteria, and occasionally bad, pointless, self-destructive behavior.
But I'm over it for now, I guess. I go through this every couple of weeks. Get pissed off, get sad, get over it. Lather, rinse, repeat. A lovely cycle, I'm sure you can see.
Moving on. Three of the five books I ordered after Christmas have come in the mail. Thus far I've received:
Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of Pretend Adulthood by Laurie Notaro (I finished it yesterday, and it was good, but I liked her first book better.)
I, Lucifer by Glen Duncan (Which I am reading now, and so far like quite a lot.)
The Fat Girl's Guide to Life by Wendy Shanker (This book has the cutest freakin' cover. I love it. I read a bit of it before ordering, so I think it'll be a good one once I get there.)
Two more are on their way, and hopefully will show up within the week. Mmm, books in the mail. Mmm, anything other than bills and credit card offers in the mail, really. But books do impart a certain joy that nothing else can, and lo, I have things to read! I haven't bought a new book since... well, at least before school started, which was 5 months ago. So it's very exciting.
Well, I think that's all for now. I'm going to read for a while and then try to go to sleep, since Adam is supposed to come down fairly early. Early for me, anyway. Early for him would be, like, arriving at my door at 4:30 in the morning. Frankly, I like my definition better.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005