January 13, 2002 :: 3:27 p.m.
the progression to apathy
I'm sort of hungry, but I don't feel like eating. It's weird to feel this way. Usually I'm sucking up food whether I'm hungry or not, so to be physically hungry but have no desire to eat is really bizarre. I guess it's not such a bad thing. A few days of this would do me some good. I wish there were a different reason behind it all, though.
Strange thing: Amanda knows about this diary. Initially, I was kind of freaked out, because I don't usually hold things back when I write here. I don't really censor myself at all, and so sometimes I say things about people out of spite or anger or just because I'm in a bad mood. At first I didn't want her to read it, but you know... I really don't care anymore. There was a time when I would have made death threats and fought tooth and nail to keep her away from this, because I wouldn't want her to know what I'm thinking or feeling. But after I thought about it for a bit, I realized that there's nothing here I'm ashamed to have anyone read. I couldn't say most of what I write here out loud, but it comes out easily this way, and I don't care if people see it. So now she's seen it and read some of it, and I'm cool with that. Hmm. It's unlike me to be so open. I guess that means I'm progressing or something.
My brother is home now, and listening to Blink 182. I get to listen to the same three chords over and over again for 12 songs! Argh. This is not exactly what I'm in the mood for right now.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005