January 19, 2004 :: 11:37 p.m.
lose weight fast with the new and imporoved Flu Diet
I think I've hit upon the solution to America's obesity problem. We'll just infect everyone with a long-lasting strain of influenza and watch as the extra pounds melt away.
Seriously, over the course of the last four days I've subsisted on nothing but peppermint tea and oatmeal. And I'm not talking a continuous flow of oatmeal, either - one packet in the morning. Today I've had three cups of peppermint tea, 1 packet of oatmeal, and a bagel. And the bagel was pointless, because I wasn't hungry and I couldn't even taste the damn thing. The whole loss of appetite thing seems like a welcome change for a while, but at this point I really just want to EAT SOMETHING. But I won't, because again, not hungry. At all. And when I do try to eat, I just feel ill afterward. And the whole thing is a very unpleasant tactile experience, what with not actually tasting the food. It's disconcerting.
Argh. The flu needs to leave me now. Immediately. I used up an entire box of tissues between yesterday. I filled my entire wastebasket with snot paper. And now my nose is so sore around the edges from said tissues that when I wash my face, the soap BURNS. And I don't mean a little burn. It's like rubbing dirt and salt into an open wound and then pouring on the peroxide. Although really, I kind of enjoy that sensation... which means, in addition to me being very fucked-up, that the face wash burn is substantially worse. Ye gods.
Oh, lovely. The headache is kicking in again. It's amazing how this sort of headache actually encompasses my entire head, face, and neck. Gotta love that.
Well, kids... I'm no fun. I'm tired, even though I've done nothing but sleep and lay around all day. I need to throw back some more ibuprofen and get thoroughly horizontal before I completely lose the ability to hold myself upright.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
I like pina coladas - March 30, 2005
must... finish... projects... - March 22, 2005
Mr. Postman delivers the good stuff - March 18, 2005
when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
of fruits and menstruation - March 15, 2005