December 11, 2001 :: 12:59 a.m.
geeky me
I'm a geek. I sat around here all day wishing I had something to do, and then when Joe called and asked if I wanted to come over, what did I say? I said no, of course. If I'd said yes I wouldn't be a geek. I didn't feel like being social tonight, though. I kind of just want to curl up with some tea and get lost in
The Golden Compass and not think about anything real. I've been racking my brain lately about christmas and college and money and everything else under the sun. I'm not stressed, mind you; my heart goes out to all the unfortunate college students who are developing ulcers over their finals. No, it's not stress, it's more like I'm wrapped up in a blanket of melancholy and now the whole world seems stalled at dusk. Familiar, safe, but quite colorless and not at all what it could be.
I'm approaching a state of complete and utter poverty. In terms of my bank account, that is. I'm down to 50 bucks, which my mom gave me, and I've actually resorted to shopping online because I don't have any gas. Mostly on Ebay, because I don't have a credit card (thank god - I'd max that shit out in ten seconds). I bid on a really fun Alice in Wonderland cookie jar for Amanda; she's an Alice freak, so I know she'd like it. I found the most hilarious thing for Joe, too - a Buddy Christ action figure. You know, from Dogma. There was a red Fender signed by Pearl Jam going for $500... ah, if only I could afford that. *laughs* Adam would wet his pants.
I started drawing my self-portrait for Temple Tyler, but it turned out rather badly so I gave up on that for the evening. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe never. God only knows, with me. Every time I think I've settled on something my mind is flooded with doubts, and then I'm back to square one. *sigh* Nothing feels right, you know? I'm not a person who responds well to subtle hints. Not only do I need all the bells and whistles you can muster, I also need to be beaten over the head with the whole shebang a few hundred times. So if the Gods of Higher Education are trying to tell me something, I'm not getting it. Hit me a little harder, guys. I can take it.
*grins* I get to see Adam tomorrow! This makes me super-fantastically happy, in spite of everything else. He's coming home for winter break on the 14th, and I can assure you that I will be one madly jubilant little chipmunk until the middle of January. Why the middle of January, you ask? Well, this is when he goes back to school. This is also when my unabashed happy-happy, joy-joy dance will end and I'll revert back to my off-kilter "life is okay" polka.
*frowns*
*shoves that thought to the back of head-linen closet*
*assumes the guise of an escaped mental patient working at Wal-Mart*
Rollin', rollin', rollin'... keep those prices rollin'...
-Amanda
Note: I am not high, or on crack, or drunk, or snorting ground up cement. I'm simply feeling less than completely sane at the moment - I'm sure you're all familiar with this delightful pit-stop on the cross-country drive that is life. Thank you, and have a nice day.
back & forth
Wait, there's more!
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when everything is bad - March 16, 2005
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